This article is by guest blogging intern Trudy Miller.
A while ago I started thinking "Do women really live longer than men do or do men just simply die sooner?".
Whichever way you look at it, nobody seems to agree 100% about the reasons why women seem to be around longer.
Possessing the curious mind I do, it was obvious that it was up to me to find the answers.
So, after having done some serious research, I've come up with what I consider the Top 5 Reasons Why Women Live Longer Than Men. Please note that this is not necessarily in order of importance.
RISKY BEHAVIOR (I like to call it "The Peacock Syndrome")
Women possess a natural ability to behave in (mostly) safe ways to attract the opposite sex, usually with great success. The poor males, on the other hand, have to engage in risky and sometimes fatal behavior. Not only do they have to prove to the female species that they are extremely brave and desirable, they also have to show their male counterparts their superiority.
A female driver (with the natural ability females have to multi-task) will, while applying makeup and talking on her cell phone, still manage to drive calmly and safely. She won't get distracted by the idiotic things other drivers around her do. Arriving at her destination, she will feel gorgeous and relaxed.
The male driver, on the other hand, feels the need to impress everyone around him with his sharp observation skills. Speeding and recklessly changing lanes (while gesturing) to show the person who cut in front of him who's boss, he sometimes fails to spot a dangerous situation before it's too late. Sadly, this often results in serious injury or even death.
STRESS (Ignoramus Syndrome)
Let's face it; men have more challenging situations to deal with than women do.
Being male, asking for directions is a definite no-no, so they have to be brave and find their own way when lost. Just in case reading the manual indicates a low IQ, they have to bravely figure out, by themselves, how to put something together or make the DVD player work. Considering the stressful situations men have to cope with, is it any wonder they succumb to heart attacks?
STUBBORNESS (Cave Man Syndrome)
Having the freedom to cry whenever they feel like it gives women a natural release valve to get rid of stress. After all, when a woman cries, she is considered sensitive and caring. Terrified of being considered less than manly, males will hardly ever cry. When a very sensitive part is caught in a zipper, they have to present a brave face.
The same goes for illness. Because they have to keep things around them going, women will visit their doctor in the hopes of getting better quickly. This often results in serious illness being diagnosed and treated early. Men will resist going to the doctor until someone has to carry them. After all, having to look after them keeps the wife busy.
VIOLENCE (Hairy Chest Syndrome)
Women will assess the situation, withdraw and return with an ingenious, non-violent plan to effectively get rid of their enemy. Men will jump in, beating their hairy chests and attack. This usually results in retaliation, oftentimes ending in bloodshed and death.
GENDER INEQUALITY (No idea what syndrome this could be)
Suppose a ship goes down. Women (and children) are rescued first, leaving the unpleasant drowning bit to those unfortunate males who can't make it off in time. Women are always willing to admit when they've made a mistake. That's why they don't feel at all guilty that men are usually the main casualties of war. After all, who started it?
While doing my research I've discovered something rather interesting. Married men live longer than single men do. On the other hand, married women die sooner than single women do. Hmmm, I feel some serious research coming on!
